In the recent “Parenting – Learning the Job Description” newsletters we saw that our task as parents includes teaching our children to be obedient to us – not for us, but for them-- because learning obedience to authority is the first step they must take in order to become effective warriors as adults for the kingdom.

We as parents directly represent the King of kings when relating to our children and speak to them with His authority. He has entrusted us with their lives for but a brief time, and then we must give them back to Him, our time as stewards over them completed. We must never grasp and attempt to hold on to them, for they do not belong to us. God has placed them in our care for a very specific task—getting them ready to join in the battle of extending God’s kingdom over the earth. Everything we do in their lives has this as its ultimate goal.

Our work of teaching our children to submit to the God-given authority given to us as their parents by bringing them under our control is certainly not an easy task, considering the effects of the fall in our children’s hearts. We would be powerless to do this job on our own, but the Holy Spirit has been sent to us to give us all we need to accomplish the task—insight to know what to do, wisdom to know how to do it, and the grace to actually get it done. He will be our Comforter when we have temporary setbacks, and He will encourage us to persevere until our assignment is complete. Praise God, Jesus has not left us as orphans, to do the job by ourselves.

What does it mean to “bring our children under control?”

3.) Nurturing our child – All attempts to control and teach your child must come from a heart of love for him. You must remember that you are ruling in your subset of the kingdom of God (your family) in Christ’s stead, as His representative, with sacrificial, servant leadership, just as He demonstrated us when He was on the earth. We call this approach Gospel Parenting: parenting from the gospel of the grace of God as a foundation rather than by the law as a basis of your relationship with your child. Without an experiential understanding of this grace-based approach, all the attempts to control and teach will be fruitless and will not nurture and build him up but will produce fear, insecurity and even rebellion. How can you be assured that your approach to parenting is grace-based rather than law based?

 The mission of Gospel Parenting is to familiarize parents with their biblical job description (How can you succeed at your job if you don’t know what you are supposed to do?) and then to equip them to successfully accomplish the crucial task God Himself has given them. We have simply touched on several relevant issues in this series of newsletters to awaken you to your calling and to encourage you that you can be successful. My hope is that you have asked “Now that I see what my job is, how can I do it successfully?”  Comprehensive help is available here at this web-site to guide you through the practical implementation of what the Bible says about each of the topics mentioned in this series of newsletters, among others, affordably and conveniently. This is not interesting, arms-length information, but life-changing truth that will change the future for you and your children.

Teaching Your Child

2.) Teaching our child – Once your child has been brought under control as we discussed last week, you can begin to teach him the family character standards you would like his life to reflect. Until his will is brought into submission to yours he will not respect you and therefore will not obey your instructions unless he wants. He very often will not. For example, when a rebellious four-year-old asks “Why do I have to brush my teeth? I don’t want to do that!” a detailed explanation of the nuances of tooth decay is a waste of time and is counterproductive because the basic issue remains unaddressed. The real issue is not why he should brush his teeth but his unwillingness to submit to the will of his parent. Once he obeys without resistance, answers are in order, generally when he is much older and genuinely wants to know.

 (The material summarized in all of this month’s newsletters are covered extensively in my DVD series, Building Obedience into Your Child, a 5-message seminar available at the back-to-school price of $39.95  http://gospelparenting.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=64&Itemid=81)

 Once rebellion is under control (it is never completely gone from any of us!) your child is ready to learn. What do you teach him?

Recognizing Your Job as Parent

Last week we saw that your job is not to get your child born again. That is exclusively God’s job. What is your job as a parent if it is not to get your child born again?

 I believe there are three main components to your job, whatever your child’s spiritual condition may be. When God does bring new life, your job will be much easier, but regardless, you are responsible for each of these three aspects of the parenting process. By applying them in the lives of all your children they will help to bring them to adulthood as functioning, productive men and women (irrespective of whether they are born again as yet or not), enabling them in turn to be mothers and fathers who know and follow God’s job description for parents. The first of these components is . . .

Leaving God’s job to Him

 When we begin our task as parents we are often fuzzy as to exactly what our job description is, and, as a result, we often find ourselves trying to do what God has not asked us to do. As a matter of fact, without a clear understanding of our task we find ourselves innocently encroaching on the job that God has reserved exclusively for Himself—the job of bringing our children into spiritual life.

 “But as many as received him, to them gave he power to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name:  

 Which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.” John 1:12, 13

 These two verses tell us how our children are spiritually regenerated or born again. It is neither because they are born into a Christian family (“not of blood”), nor is it by living an obedient, good life (“nor of the will of the flesh”), nor is it because they decided to “ask Jesus to come into their lives” (“nor of the will of man”).